The Good and Beautiful

I'm not usually a quote sharing kind of person but I read this today and it really spoke to me. I need to be better about focusing on the good and beautiful in my children (and all people) more often.

When we focus on what is good and beautiful in someone, whether or not we think that they "deserve" it, the good and the beautiful are strengthened merely by the light of our attention.

When we choose to see and appreciate what is good and beautiful in our children, the goodness can't help but grow, and their beauty blossoms forth.

Katrina Kenison, The Gift of an Ordinary Day

First Day of School 2011

Summer is over and in some ways I am sad, in others, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was glad. August was a had a hard month. It started out with a really fun with a trip to Red Fish Lake (photos hopefully posted soon), then a weird sickness which we thought was maybe West Nile Virus, followed by Crew getting salmonella poisoning and then a bought of the stomach flu this last weekend of which Crew, Hailey and I suffered through. Poor Crew, he's gotten all three and his little body is tired and skinny. And in the middle of all this our friend and neighbor was killed in an accident. He was a husband and a father of 4, 3 adorable little boys and a brand new baby girl. His 2 oldest boys, Parker and Joshua are Crew's best friends. Things have been heavy and stressful. So, I haven't felt much like blogging or writing.

Crew started school last week and I forgot to get pictures. I didn't send him this morning with the girls because he is just tired and doesn't feel great. I don't either. I'm ready for a routine. I am hoping now that with a little more time to myself, I can get back to documenting and writing. Sorry to be such a Debbie-downer....at least these pictures make me smile.

Someone obviously loves the camera. Paige holding up 2 fingers for Second Grade, her teacher is Ms. Wood (her best friend Sofi's aunt).

Hailey holding up 4 fingers for Fourth Grade, her teacher is Mr. Rakel, a Harry Potter look-alike.

Paige making Hailey laugh.

On the way to school Hailey told Paige she was going to miss her and that she was her best friend (sometimes). Those are the moments that make all of this worth it.

I just came from the first grade talent show.  Not sure if I'm proud or embarrassed or both.  Probably a little of both.

About a month ago, Paige came home with a flyer about the school talent show and told me that she and her friend Gracie were going to do a dance and she needed a purple costume.  I pretty much just said, "Oh, okay Paige" and forgot about it, kind of hoping in the back of my head that she would forget about it too.  At the same time I was feeling a little guilty, thinking maybe I should help her prepare something but the thought of the two of us with our conflicting opinions, etc. made me just push that thought aside.  I swear we already have that teenager mother-daughter relationship thing starting and I just wasn't feeling well.  It seemed too overwhelming.

She brought it up again a couple weeks later, still intent that she would be participating.  She asked me again for a purple costume.  "What kind of a purple costume, Paige?" I asked, "I don't know, it just has to be purple, Gracie's going to wear a purple costume too."  "Oh boy," I thought, remembering when Hailey decided she was going to be in the first grade talent show.  It wasn't a good experience - at the time at least.  She told a joke, no one laughed and her teacher made a mean remark.  She was humiliated.  I felt like a slacker mother for not discouraging her from doing it, and even more horrible that I hadn't enrolled her in piano, violin or something else at age 3 which would "wow" the audience.  Hailey can look back on it now and talk about it matter-of-factly, I don't think she's permanently scarred.  However, when Paige talked about being in the talent show Hailey was adamant that she shouldn't do it.  I think a part of her didn't want Paige to be humiliated, but a bigger part of her didn't want to have her little sister embarrass her.

A few days before the talent show she told me that her friend Gracie had backed out and would not be performing with her but that she was going to get up and do some ballet by herself.  I cringed a little (she hasn't taken ballet for about a year and a half) but figured I'd try to be supportive.  Needless to say, the day of the talent show came, she was still intent on doing it so I figured I had better show up.  Paige had "prepared" a few ballet moves and packed her leotard, tights and ballet shoes in her backpack.  Crew and I arrived in time and took our seats in the gymnasium.  We watched the first few girls perform.  One of her friends did a dance routine that was completely choreographed and had a cute costume and curled hair, etc.  Paige had to follow her.  I was kind of dying inside.  I really didn't want people to laugh or make fun of her.  Luckily, no one did, people watched her gracefully twirl around on the stage and clapped politely when she was finished.

In the end, I'm glad she did it.  She felt good about herself and thought it was really fun.  I think it takes a lot of guts to get up in front of a bunch of people all by yourself and perform (I'm not sure if you can classify what she did as performing, but none-the-less she did it).   It taught me a few things.  First, Paige has an amazing little spirit and has an innate confidence that I hope she never looses (I guess I knew this about her but this sort of reaffirmed it).  Second, Paige needs an extra curricular activity which gives her an outlet to perform and third, I need to step it up as a mother in SO many ways.  Sometimes I feel like I'm too much in the middle.  I'm not a pushy stage mother who is enrolling my kids in a million things like dance, cheer, gymnastics, ballet etc. like some mothers - not that I want to be that way, but I think I could be a little more in tune with what would bring out the best traits in each of my children and better about encouraging those things individually.  I am guilty of scheduling both Hailey and Paige for the same things to make life easier on me.  I'm reading Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother right now and it's really making me think about my role as a parent and mother.

My friend Tami took a few pictures of her since I only had my iPhone.

Great job Paige!  You never cease to amaze me!

My Trip to Charleston, South Carolina

I had a great opportunity to visit some family last week in Charleston, South Carolina, which is now on my list of favorite places.

I went for a run one morning but it was actually more like a run/walk/stop-and-look at all of the beautiful homes, gardens and foliage. 

The blossoms were beautiful.

My mom and I took a tour of the largest private residence in Charleston.  

Here's what it said on the website:

Nothing else on the Charleston Peninsula compares to the Calhoun Mansion. Boasting a striking italianate design, the Calhoun Mansion, the largest residence in Charleston, has 35 rooms, a grand ballroom, japanese water gardens, 35 fireplaces, 75 foot high domed stairhall ceiling, khoi ponds, private elevator, three levels of piazzas, ornate chandeliers, a 90 foot cupola, and many more wonderful surprises that make up the house's more than 24,000 square feet

Unfortunately, they didn't allow pictures to be taken inside but here we are in the gardens.  We only got to see really just a fraction of the house since it is a private residence.  They apparently take down the ropes that block the rooms and use them every night.  I have never seen more stuff crammed into a house.   The man is essentially a really wealthy hoarder.  He is an antique collector and collects things mainly from the Victorian Era.  Not my cup of tea but interesting none the less. TThe tour guide says nothing ever leaves but things are always coming in.  I feel bad for the 2 housekeepers that have to dust everything.  The staff for the entire home includes 2 housekeepers, one gardener and one cook.  I ran past this really old graveyard, there were graves dating back to the 1700's. After staying in downtown Charleston for a couple of days, my mom and I stayed at my Aunt Barby and Uncle Pete's house for a couple of nights.  They have a great place on the outskirts of Charleston.   Here's my mom knitting and soaking up the sun on their porch.  We had perfect weather the whole time we were there. Mom and Aunt Barby enjoying the afternoon on the porch rocking chairs.   We also got to see my cute cousin and her family.  She just had a baby about 2 months ago.  I forgot how fun it is to hold a little newborn, it's been a while!  She was precious! Beth's other daughter, Ella.  Adorable as well. I went for a run in their neighborhood and saw this sign....um, yikes. And then I actually saw one...we're not accustomed to those types of things here in the tundra...maybe an occasional moose or raccoon but alligators??? It was such a great trip.  It was nice to spend time with my mom and some of my extended family that I don't get to see very often.   Whenever I'm able to sneak away for a few days, it makes me appreciate not only all the amazing and different places there are in the world, but also how much I love my own little family at home.  I was so happy to pull into the garage and to be greeted by 6 little arms that all grabbed me and hugged me at the same time.  Of course, quickly after the hugs, they were asking about their "presents" which seem to have become an essential requirement if you are away for more than 24 hours in their minds.  I'm also so grateful for a husband who is so supportive and willing to fill in for me when I am able to get away.  I appreciate it so, so, so much.  I am one lucky girl.

First Day of School 2010

Hailey started 3rd grade, Paige started 1st and Crew is holding up a "zero" representing preschool.

Crew got really mad about something during the pictures and threw his backpack down.

Then he put it back on...

and sulked.

So I just took one of Hailey and Paige.  

They look so cute in their matching first day of school outfits!

It really was just the first day for Hailey and Paige, Crew started school last week but I figured I'd just get them all in one shot today.

The last few weeks of summer have been a little trying.  I have said (well, maybe yelled) on more than one occasion amidst the fighting, whining and complaints of boredom, "I can't wait until school starts!!!!" I thought I'd be jumping for joy as soon as I dropped them off today.  Especially after a hectic morning of getting everyone ready, fed, lunches packed, pictures taken and out the door all by myself (Jim had a 7 am meeting).  Plus, it was raining and I had to search the house for umbrellas and could only find two which sent Crew into a major tantrum tailspin.  He insisted that he really, really needed an umbrella as well as his baseball hat and raincoat.  This made for a rather unpleasant and loud drive to school.  However, we made it with just enough time to walk the girls into school.

I was caught by surprise as tears started welling up in my eyes as I watched both girls settle into their desks in their new classrooms.  As a child, I remember being so nervous and unsure every time a new school year started, new teachers, new friends, a new routine.  But both girls seemed fine, completely confident and happy to be there, never looking back to see where I was.  I reluctantly left and as Crew and I were driving over to his school, he must've heard me sniffling and he told me to "Stop tying, Mom!" (He's still having some speech issues).  No sympathy from him, I think he was more than happy to see them off!

Even though it will be nice to have a little time to myself, there is a part of me that will miss them during the day.  I keep telling myself that they'll be grown up and gone before I know it!  But for now, I am more than ready for some structure.  I am welcoming the homework, the spelling tests, school projects, volunteering, gymnastics and piano lessons, bed time books and especially the 8:00 bedtime again--all of which have been severely neglected for the last few months!

What I've Been Up To...

Just thought I'd post about what I've been up to lately...making myself crazy organizing every last toy, piece of paper and sock in the house. It became kind of an obesession. I've partially recovered...you see, there is a little construction hat out of place here and I'm ok with it, no need to send me to the looney bin...yet.

I separated all of the toys into categories and labeled the bins with a corresponding picture. I must say, in the few weeks since I've done this, the kids have been much more willing to play downstairs and then put things away after they're done.






We took out almost all of our work-out equipment and made the room into more of a TV/Play Room for the kids.  The treadmill is on the other side of the room.  It opened up this space sooo much, it looks a lot better than it did before.  Should've taken before/after pics...o well.

I didn't do much to the kids' rooms other than taking down and rearraging some pictures and organizing bookshelves and closets.
Hailey's room...

Paige's room...

Crew's room...

Our room...

My closet...


Here's the link to the listing:  http://www.idaho1stclassproperties.com/default.asp?content=expanded&search_content=office_listings&this_format=0&mls_number=166731&page=2&sortby=2
The real estate agent took the pictures on a really cloudy, rainy day.  I don't think they're very good, especially of the great room/kitchen area.  O well....we are probably crazy to try to sell in this market anyway.  I guess we'll just wait and see what happens.

Sun Valley 10th Anniversary Weekend

Jim and I went to Sun Valley for our 10th Anniversary, which is coming up in a couple of days, April 28th!  We decided to use the navigation system for some reason and learned that she's not always right.  She tried to take us on a "short cut" that took us about 3 hours out of the way.  We were actually only about 11 miles from Sun Valley when we discovered that the short cut road had not been plowed!  It makes me mad to even think about it.  I was so tired and cranky by the time we got to Stanley, I was ready to eat at a gas station.  Luckily, we found a little dive that happened to have pretty good pizza.  We finally made it to Sun Valley at about 11 pm.  Grrrr.

After sleeping in on Saturday morning (a VERY rare luxury), we got up, hopped on our bikes and had a nice 2 1/2 hour bike ride.  It was really fun even though it was snowy and muddy in some parts, I didn't mind getting dirty.  Jim's rear somehow got most of the mud.  I wish I had gotten more of his soaked back, we were working hard!


The ski hill, still snowy.



We ate at a really, really good little Italian place on Saturday night called Cosi.  It was the best pasta I have EVER had!  I can't wait to go back.  Sunday, we just took it easy, had brunch at the lodge and then headed home.  It was such a nice get-away and very much needed.  I was so thankful that Jim's parents are willing and able to take the kids for us.  It's not easy!

"I Swear...

to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

I must've been in a truth-telling mood yesterday because a few important "truths" were revealed.


One reason for my amplified integrity may be that I have been summoned for jury duty and have had to spend a morning and an afternoon observing the jury selection process. I've had to answer questions about myself and my beliefs openly and honestly.  Thankfully, I have not been selected yet (I may have to go in again on Friday).  I wonder if I should take that personally?  I do think it would be a really interesting experience to be on a jury but am hoping that opportunity comes again when my kids are a bit older and somewhat self-sufficient.

Yesterday morning, as I’m getting the kids ready for school, I explain to Hailey and Paige that I won’t be able to come volunteer in their classes as I usually do on Mondays because I have to go to a meeting to see if I get selected for jury duty.

Hailey: “What’s jury duty? I explain it to her. 
Hailey:  "If we live in a free country, you should be able to decide if you want to go or not!”

This starts a whole discussion about what a free country means, rules and laws and consequences for not obeying laws. I tell her that if I don’t show up to this meeting, I might have to pay a fine or I could even be put in jail. I explain that it’s everyone’s duty to participate in the judicial system and to give an honest and unbiased opinion so that people can have fair trials to decide if they'll be punished or not.

For some reason, honesty has always been way up there on my moral compass (ok, maybe not in high school). The other day I quoted a passage from the book I'm reading now, East of Eden, by John Steinbeck, to Jim, trying to make a case for my argument that children should know certain things (more on that in a minute). I have loved this book; I don't want it to end. Anyway, Lee, the Chinese servant is telling Adam, the main character, about his father and his Chinese beliefs. He says, "There's more beauty in the truth even if it is dreadful beauty. The storytellers at the city gate twist life so that it looks sweet to the lazy and the stupid and the weak, and this only strengthens their infirmities and teaches nothing, cures nothing, nor does it let the heart soar." This passage made so much sense to me on many different levels.

For the last year or so I have been trying to convince Jim that at some point, we must tell our children that we were both married before. He thinks this information is going to completely devastate our kids and their world and its foundation will come crashing down around them. I, however, learned early on, that my parents were human and made mistakes and those mistakes and their consequences were a normal, necessary part of life. I don't want my kids to think I'm perfect (and believe me, they don't), because sooner or later, they're going to find out that I'm FAR from perfect and if they find out how imperfect I am gradually, it will be less of a blow to them, therefore, not as devastating and disappointing as it would be if they were to find out all at once.

Yesterday Jim was skiing at Targhee and ran into a brother-in-law of a girl he was once engaged to (this is not the person he was actually married to, it's actually another one). When he got home we were talking about this girl and Hailey happened to be in the room and was listening with her very recently tuned-in 8 year-old ears that need to know about absolutely EVERYTHING we are talking about. I could see the wheels spinning in her head and thought to myself, "A perfect opportunity to get this cat out of the bag!" So, with a little nudging, Jim admitted to Hailey that he had been engaged to another woman before he met me. With a little more nudging, he admitted that he had, in fact, also been married to another woman. I then followed and revealed that I too, had been married before. I guess Hailey was surprised and understandably a little disturbed, but we discussed it for about 10 minutes, answered her questions and then she seemed to be fine with it. Not much drama, maybe a few welled up tears, but she took it really well.

Great, we can check that off the list. I've already had "the sex talk" with her and she pretty much figured out Santa Claus last year so we are moving along nicely!

With that wrapped up, we decided to divide and conquer some errands that needed to be done. Jim took Crew and Hailey and I took Paige. I needed to go to the grocery store and return a few things to Downeast Home.

Paige was not happy that she had to go to the grocery store and was already throwing a fit when we got in the car. My head felt cloudy, I could feel a head cold coming on and all I wanted to do was get a few necessities, get dinner over with, take some Nyquil, and go to bed. As I'm listening to Paige whine and cry in the back seat I tried to distract her with some questions about school.

Me:  "Paige, how was school today? Did you get your reading done?"

Paige:  "It was fine mom, geez, you always ask me that!"

Even though that question annoyed her, it did the trick because she stopped whining and obviously started thinking about something Mrs. Davis had taught them that day.

Paige: "Mom, is it spring?"

Me: "No, not yet."

Paige: "Is it cold in the spring?"

Me: "Sometimes."

Paige: "Mom, did the groundhog see its shadow?"

Me: (worn out and not wanting to get into the whole groundhog discussion - she had talked about it endlessly a few weeks ago), "Paige, I don't know, that's not even real, it's just a story people make up for fun."

Paige: "But that's how you tell if there are six more weeks of winter or not!!! You have to see the groundhog!!!"

Me: "Yes, Paige, that's what people say but really it's Mother Nature who decides when spring comes."

We finally arrive at Downeast and I reach for my purse...crap, I forgot it, I really need some cold medicine and I have to return this before the 3 day limit at Downeast so I tell Paige I forgot my purse and that we need to go back home. She's not happy but as we start driving she quickly resumes the conversation we were having and asks, "Who's Mother Nature?"

Me: (thinking, oh boy, now I've got to explain that and I don't have the energy for this right now) "Mother Nature is sort-of the thing that's in charge of the Earth's climate and the seasons and stuff."

Paige: (thankfully satisfied with that answer but onto the next subject) "Mom, are leprechaun’s real? Are they at the end of the rainbow?"

Me: (thinking it's March so they must be learning about March holidays at school). "No, Paige, leprechauns aren't real” (thinking to myself, I'd better tell her the truth because who knows when or where she's going to let her irrational fears take over. I can just imagine her going to bed tonight, worried that leprechauns are going to be crawling all over her in her sleep).

Paige: "Is the Easter Bunny real?"

Me: (thinking, oh great, where do I stop with this?) "No, Paige, the Easter Bunny isn't real."

Paige: "WHAT???? The Easter Bunny isn't real? YOU are the one who puts out the eggs and eats the carrots????? You are a LIAR! Liar liar pants on fire, liar liar pants on fire!!!"

We get back home and I run in, and think, I need to turn on the oven for the pizzas for dinner, I blow my nose and grab a few Easter candies for the road. I get back into the car. Paige is still yelling "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

She then says, "So if leprechauns and the Easter Bunny aren't real, is Santa real?"

Me: (crap, I knew this was coming). "What do you think, Paige?"

Paige: "Santa isn't real, you give us all the presents, it's not Santa!!! When we went on the Polar Express that wasn't the real Santa?!? Liar, liar....etc."

So, I start in on what the spirit of Christmas is and the spirit of Santa Claus and giving and serving, etc. She wants none of that.

She feels cheated. I don't blame her, but, part of me is glad in a way. Is that mean? I was always the kind of kid who was fairly logical about things. I figured out at a really early age that Santa wasn't real, in fact, I don't ever remember believing in Santa. I asked my parents at age 4 about where babies came from and they gave me the 4 year-old version.  They said I looked at them like, "Come on, I know that's not really how it happens" and kept asking so they finally told me the facts. No big deal to me. Give me the information, I can deal and move on!  I'm not suggesting that every child learn about sex at the age of 4 or shouldn't ever believe in Santa, this is just how it worked out for me.

We finally get back to Downeast. I reach for my purse. It's not there. I forgot it, AGAIN! What is wrong with me? I must've been distracted by the yelling, oven, candy, and cloudy head.  There’s too much going on, I’m hungry and I don't feel good. Luckily, Downeast lets me do my return and gives me a credit.  Since I have no money, Paige and I do a little window shopping next door at Toys R Us for Hailey's upcoming birthday.

On the way home, Paige has moved on to other subjects.

Paige: "Mom, are some people born without feet?"

Me: "Yes Paige."

Paige: "Why? Are they zombies?"

Me: (where does she come up with this stufff?) "No, they're not zombies." The conversation continues until we get home with Paige wondering why Heavenly Father would ever let someone be born without feet? I was glad to fall back on "I don't know" (honestly) several times during that one.

We get the kids fed, homeork done, piano practiced, bathed, read to and off to bed! By now, I have a full-blown head cold and I'm feeling exhausted. I sit down to read my email and open one from Hailey’s teacher. In response to my email the previous day about not being able to come in to volunteer, she says,

Dear Elisa,


Thanks for letting me know. I couldn't get into my email this morning so I didn't see your note until this afternoon. At math time Hailey told me you wouldn't be coming in because you had a meeting to go to and if you didn't show up at the meeting, you would be put in jail. " Wow, that is an important meeting," I thought. I got quite a chuckle just now when I read your email. Thanks for all your help in our room.


Jeanie Cousin, 2nd Grade

Well, at least Hailey was honest with her teacher, just left out a few important details. We’ll work on the "including details" subsection of honesty another day.

Parking Wars in Idaho

Yesterday I was out running errands with Jim's pick-up. I am a city girl and have not grown up "drivin' a pick-up 'round town." Instead, I learned how to drive a Chevette at the ripe old age of 8 (my Dad claims it was 9 which I guess makes it much more acceptable). I am not a perfect driver but I've got a good 27 years under my belt. When it comes to the truck, I do admit, I'm not the best parker as I had someone "gently" point out to me yesterday with a nice little note on my windsheild. I've taken the liberty to block out a few letters but I'm sure you get the gist. The heart was a nice touch, I thought. I could feel the love from this girl.




I was seriously chuckling to myself and decided to get a picture of the error of my ways. The standards for truck parking are extra-high in Idaho, you're an inch over the line and they're gonna let you know. I guess I need some practice.

You gotta love those BYU-I students ;)