"I Swear...

to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

I must've been in a truth-telling mood yesterday because a few important "truths" were revealed.


One reason for my amplified integrity may be that I have been summoned for jury duty and have had to spend a morning and an afternoon observing the jury selection process. I've had to answer questions about myself and my beliefs openly and honestly.  Thankfully, I have not been selected yet (I may have to go in again on Friday).  I wonder if I should take that personally?  I do think it would be a really interesting experience to be on a jury but am hoping that opportunity comes again when my kids are a bit older and somewhat self-sufficient.

Yesterday morning, as I’m getting the kids ready for school, I explain to Hailey and Paige that I won’t be able to come volunteer in their classes as I usually do on Mondays because I have to go to a meeting to see if I get selected for jury duty.

Hailey: “What’s jury duty? I explain it to her. 
Hailey:  "If we live in a free country, you should be able to decide if you want to go or not!”

This starts a whole discussion about what a free country means, rules and laws and consequences for not obeying laws. I tell her that if I don’t show up to this meeting, I might have to pay a fine or I could even be put in jail. I explain that it’s everyone’s duty to participate in the judicial system and to give an honest and unbiased opinion so that people can have fair trials to decide if they'll be punished or not.

For some reason, honesty has always been way up there on my moral compass (ok, maybe not in high school). The other day I quoted a passage from the book I'm reading now, East of Eden, by John Steinbeck, to Jim, trying to make a case for my argument that children should know certain things (more on that in a minute). I have loved this book; I don't want it to end. Anyway, Lee, the Chinese servant is telling Adam, the main character, about his father and his Chinese beliefs. He says, "There's more beauty in the truth even if it is dreadful beauty. The storytellers at the city gate twist life so that it looks sweet to the lazy and the stupid and the weak, and this only strengthens their infirmities and teaches nothing, cures nothing, nor does it let the heart soar." This passage made so much sense to me on many different levels.

For the last year or so I have been trying to convince Jim that at some point, we must tell our children that we were both married before. He thinks this information is going to completely devastate our kids and their world and its foundation will come crashing down around them. I, however, learned early on, that my parents were human and made mistakes and those mistakes and their consequences were a normal, necessary part of life. I don't want my kids to think I'm perfect (and believe me, they don't), because sooner or later, they're going to find out that I'm FAR from perfect and if they find out how imperfect I am gradually, it will be less of a blow to them, therefore, not as devastating and disappointing as it would be if they were to find out all at once.

Yesterday Jim was skiing at Targhee and ran into a brother-in-law of a girl he was once engaged to (this is not the person he was actually married to, it's actually another one). When he got home we were talking about this girl and Hailey happened to be in the room and was listening with her very recently tuned-in 8 year-old ears that need to know about absolutely EVERYTHING we are talking about. I could see the wheels spinning in her head and thought to myself, "A perfect opportunity to get this cat out of the bag!" So, with a little nudging, Jim admitted to Hailey that he had been engaged to another woman before he met me. With a little more nudging, he admitted that he had, in fact, also been married to another woman. I then followed and revealed that I too, had been married before. I guess Hailey was surprised and understandably a little disturbed, but we discussed it for about 10 minutes, answered her questions and then she seemed to be fine with it. Not much drama, maybe a few welled up tears, but she took it really well.

Great, we can check that off the list. I've already had "the sex talk" with her and she pretty much figured out Santa Claus last year so we are moving along nicely!

With that wrapped up, we decided to divide and conquer some errands that needed to be done. Jim took Crew and Hailey and I took Paige. I needed to go to the grocery store and return a few things to Downeast Home.

Paige was not happy that she had to go to the grocery store and was already throwing a fit when we got in the car. My head felt cloudy, I could feel a head cold coming on and all I wanted to do was get a few necessities, get dinner over with, take some Nyquil, and go to bed. As I'm listening to Paige whine and cry in the back seat I tried to distract her with some questions about school.

Me:  "Paige, how was school today? Did you get your reading done?"

Paige:  "It was fine mom, geez, you always ask me that!"

Even though that question annoyed her, it did the trick because she stopped whining and obviously started thinking about something Mrs. Davis had taught them that day.

Paige: "Mom, is it spring?"

Me: "No, not yet."

Paige: "Is it cold in the spring?"

Me: "Sometimes."

Paige: "Mom, did the groundhog see its shadow?"

Me: (worn out and not wanting to get into the whole groundhog discussion - she had talked about it endlessly a few weeks ago), "Paige, I don't know, that's not even real, it's just a story people make up for fun."

Paige: "But that's how you tell if there are six more weeks of winter or not!!! You have to see the groundhog!!!"

Me: "Yes, Paige, that's what people say but really it's Mother Nature who decides when spring comes."

We finally arrive at Downeast and I reach for my purse...crap, I forgot it, I really need some cold medicine and I have to return this before the 3 day limit at Downeast so I tell Paige I forgot my purse and that we need to go back home. She's not happy but as we start driving she quickly resumes the conversation we were having and asks, "Who's Mother Nature?"

Me: (thinking, oh boy, now I've got to explain that and I don't have the energy for this right now) "Mother Nature is sort-of the thing that's in charge of the Earth's climate and the seasons and stuff."

Paige: (thankfully satisfied with that answer but onto the next subject) "Mom, are leprechaun’s real? Are they at the end of the rainbow?"

Me: (thinking it's March so they must be learning about March holidays at school). "No, Paige, leprechauns aren't real” (thinking to myself, I'd better tell her the truth because who knows when or where she's going to let her irrational fears take over. I can just imagine her going to bed tonight, worried that leprechauns are going to be crawling all over her in her sleep).

Paige: "Is the Easter Bunny real?"

Me: (thinking, oh great, where do I stop with this?) "No, Paige, the Easter Bunny isn't real."

Paige: "WHAT???? The Easter Bunny isn't real? YOU are the one who puts out the eggs and eats the carrots????? You are a LIAR! Liar liar pants on fire, liar liar pants on fire!!!"

We get back home and I run in, and think, I need to turn on the oven for the pizzas for dinner, I blow my nose and grab a few Easter candies for the road. I get back into the car. Paige is still yelling "Liar, liar, pants on fire!"

She then says, "So if leprechauns and the Easter Bunny aren't real, is Santa real?"

Me: (crap, I knew this was coming). "What do you think, Paige?"

Paige: "Santa isn't real, you give us all the presents, it's not Santa!!! When we went on the Polar Express that wasn't the real Santa?!? Liar, liar....etc."

So, I start in on what the spirit of Christmas is and the spirit of Santa Claus and giving and serving, etc. She wants none of that.

She feels cheated. I don't blame her, but, part of me is glad in a way. Is that mean? I was always the kind of kid who was fairly logical about things. I figured out at a really early age that Santa wasn't real, in fact, I don't ever remember believing in Santa. I asked my parents at age 4 about where babies came from and they gave me the 4 year-old version.  They said I looked at them like, "Come on, I know that's not really how it happens" and kept asking so they finally told me the facts. No big deal to me. Give me the information, I can deal and move on!  I'm not suggesting that every child learn about sex at the age of 4 or shouldn't ever believe in Santa, this is just how it worked out for me.

We finally get back to Downeast. I reach for my purse. It's not there. I forgot it, AGAIN! What is wrong with me? I must've been distracted by the yelling, oven, candy, and cloudy head.  There’s too much going on, I’m hungry and I don't feel good. Luckily, Downeast lets me do my return and gives me a credit.  Since I have no money, Paige and I do a little window shopping next door at Toys R Us for Hailey's upcoming birthday.

On the way home, Paige has moved on to other subjects.

Paige: "Mom, are some people born without feet?"

Me: "Yes Paige."

Paige: "Why? Are they zombies?"

Me: (where does she come up with this stufff?) "No, they're not zombies." The conversation continues until we get home with Paige wondering why Heavenly Father would ever let someone be born without feet? I was glad to fall back on "I don't know" (honestly) several times during that one.

We get the kids fed, homeork done, piano practiced, bathed, read to and off to bed! By now, I have a full-blown head cold and I'm feeling exhausted. I sit down to read my email and open one from Hailey’s teacher. In response to my email the previous day about not being able to come in to volunteer, she says,

Dear Elisa,


Thanks for letting me know. I couldn't get into my email this morning so I didn't see your note until this afternoon. At math time Hailey told me you wouldn't be coming in because you had a meeting to go to and if you didn't show up at the meeting, you would be put in jail. " Wow, that is an important meeting," I thought. I got quite a chuckle just now when I read your email. Thanks for all your help in our room.


Jeanie Cousin, 2nd Grade

Well, at least Hailey was honest with her teacher, just left out a few important details. We’ll work on the "including details" subsection of honesty another day.